I have to remind myself several times a day to relax. It's not something I remember to do naturally. If I don't my shoulders and neck start to hurt and I can get a headache before I even realize it's starting.
I've learned to relax in a number of different ways, depending on where I am and what I'm doing.
If I'm at work, I have to be able to use a quick method and is pretty low key as to what I'm doing.
I sit at a desk all day and in some cases I can sit there for several hours at a time using a computer so I try to stop every hour or so. I'll put my hands in my lap, sit up straight, feet flat on the floor and take several deep breaths with my eyes closed. While doing this I visualize a white/yellow light above my head and as I exhale, that light rains down on and through my head and body. With each breath my shoulders and/or neck will feel just a little more relaxed. After about 4 or 5 breaths, I'm ready again.
Or, I'll take a deep breath and lift and tighten my shoulders, hold both for a count of 4 or 5 and then release my breath and relax and roll my shoulders slowly, again to a count of 4 or 5. Repeating this for 4 or 5 times.
While I'm at home I can use longer methods that are a bit more involved and more fun.
Sometimes a hot bath with epsom salts, or maybe some bubble bath always with essential oils and of course candles.
Listening to music and just watching the flame dance on the candle can be magic.
Maybe take a walk and enjoy nature.
The point is instead of thinking of all the things that need done, just listen to what's around you, enjoy what you see. Look for the simple things and fill your head with paying attention to those things.
Whatever works for you, use it. We don't do it enough and it makes all the difference in dealing with stress and strain in our full everyday lives.